Please, share in our misery...

(This is Grady typing - FYI. Prepare yourselves for a novel.)

We recently took a trip back to the Rochester, NY area. My grandmother passed away last December (future thanks for any condolences) at the young age of 98. Almost our whole family was able to go back to where they lived and where she was to be buried (just outside of Palmyra, where they grew up) even though we moved them out here about two years ago. We were so excited to go back with the kids. Little did we know the trip from hell awaited us.

We left on Wednesday, June 24th. While getting everything together that morning Kristy asked me to get our passports and birth certificates since we'd be visiting Niagara Falls (yep you need a passport for Canada now). I got everything together and realized we didn't have Colton's birth certificate. We spent the next 45 minutes tearing the house apart (and yelling at each other in the process :) before finally giving up and leaving late to the airport. Now we're both mad at each other and I'm flying to make sure we get there in time. We do, and get our bags checked, our tickets in hand, and head through Security, which with two kids, a stroller, a car seat, and multiple bags is one of the worst things ever.

But we make it to the terminal, where all my family is waiting only to have the employee at the gate tell everyone that all flights in and out of Chicago are delayed. Uh oh. She also mentioned that more than likely any connecting flights are also delayed. That gave us a faint glimmer of hope. We finally boarded and the flight went fine until we started to descend. Kristy had been sick the previous week (thanks to me) and now her ears wouldn't equalize and was in so much pain she was bawling from pain as we landed.

Having never been to Chicago's O'Hare airport, we were unprepared for the sheer madness and lack of direction available there. It took us 30 minutes to haul two kids and bags from one side of the airport to the other (after my computer back strap broke). We get to the terminal before they've boarded (which is completely packed) only to have the lady at the desk tell us they have no seats for us since they've been given away.


Yep, they gave away our 13 seats because we weren't here a half hour before the original departure time, EVEN THOUGH THAT FLIGHT (AND EVERY OTHER FLIGHT) IS DELAYED!!

We begged, we pleaded, and they worked to get us on board. Only 11 of us made that flight, and my parents managed to get on a later flight into Rochester. Now none of us are together, but luckily I was able to get a seat with Ayden. He slept through the last part of the flight and woke up as we started descending. He needed to go the bathroom so I set him on my lap facing me thinking the guy at the back of the plane was waiting for the bathroom. I suddenly felt a warm sensation starting and my stomach and working its way down and realized I'm being peed on.

I pick up Ayden and go to the back of the plane. The guy...he's just stretching his legs. Bathrooms are all unoccupied. I clean us up as best I can and head back to my seat. Meanwhile, Kristy is by herself bawling because of the pain in her ears again. We finally land and I get off (naturally carrying as many things in front of me as possible - the pee stain on my tan shorts couldn't be more noticeable).

We get to baggage claim and grab Ayden's car seat, a bag for my parents, and that's it. Kristy's bag doesn't come. My brother's family's bags don't come. My parents other bag doesn't come and neither do the bags for my aunt and uncle. Awesome.

After waiting a half hour to get the rental car we try to get something to eat only not even grocery stores were open at midnight, so we head back to pick up my parents, hoping the rest of the bags will arrive. The only ones that show up is Kristy's and one of my brother's. So we head to the hotel.

The next day we all drive to Niagara Falls and the thunderstorm of thunderstorms hits just as we get into the city. It's completely pouring, there's lightning everywhere, and just as we come to the main area for the falls, lightning strikes a quarter mile from us and knocks out the credit card machines all around. We manage to pass an hour or two and finally the rain stops and we get to see the falls. Ayden loved and managed to get himself soaked chasing birds through the puddles (oh and we got in just fine without Colton's birth certificate, which we realized we actually have never received).

Then we left Niagara, got something to eat by our hotel and hit the sack. Kristy slept with Colton and I was with Ayden, and around 1:30 AM I am woken up by the feeling warm vomit all over my back. Ayden had thrown up on me and all over our bed. We call down to the desk, get new bed linens, I change, and we go back to sleep. 4 AM - same drill. Ayden throws up on me, the bed, and we get to do it all over again. (Ayden couldn't have been less concerned or sad, in fact at 4 AM he was ready to play with toys)

Next morning (Friday) we give him a little bit to eat, and head out with my family to go to Palmyra to see the church history sites. In our infinite wisdom, we fail to bring a second change of clothes for him, and just before we get off the freeway exit by Palmyra he throws up on himself and his car seat. We find a dollar store, buy him some clothes and try our best to clean up him and the car seat.

We finally get the Joseph Smith farm and I take Ayden in the Sacred Grove to try to find my family while Kristy feeds Colton in the car. We get all the way to the other entrance of the grove when Ayden says he needs to go the bathroom.

"Perfect. There's a bathroom right here."

We walk the 30 feet to the bathroom, and I start taking off his pants and underwear when I realize he's already gone. He's pooed his pants and it's run all down his legs. I spend the next 20 minutes hand washing his crappy clothes (pun!) and him in the sink of the bathroom.

Kristy, meanwhile, has no idea where I am and is waiting for me as the rest of the family has already headed down to the Hill Cumorah. We put our brains together, and decide to finally put Ayden in a diaper and the day goes by much more smoothly.

Saturday is the funeral and burial. The funeral goes by without a hitch, and we travel to the cemetery just outside of Palmyra. After the burial, we decide to go to a lake, but instead of Lake Ontario 20 minutes away from our hotel, we drive for 2 hours to the Finger Lakes to go on some paddle boats there. Except they closed 30 minutes before we get there. We hang out at the lake for a half hour when all the women want to go shopping. We go to main street in the little town - closed.

So we all go eat at a restaurant and leave to go back to our hotel. Kristy and I leave a few minutes before everyone else and ended up taking a different path. After about an hour and a half we're just getting ready to get off the freeway close to our hotel when a deer jumps out into the highway and I hit it with our rental car. The worst part, is Kristy was sleeping and woke up when I jerked the wheel slightly in hopes of avoiding the deer. So the first thing she was was the car meeting the deer.

We make it to the hotel around 10 PM and check the damage to the car. Bumper broken; grill broken, hood bent, and the radiator is leaking. Hooray!

After a call with our insurance that night and with the car rental company the next day they ask me to drive it into the airport rental office (about 25 minutes away). Luckily, not a lot of the antifreeze and leaked out. I just barely got it here before the thing overheated on me and got a new car. Meanwhile, everyone else was going to go to church at 10:30, except the ward there met at 9:30, so that worked out really well as well.

It starts pouring again as we make our way to the airport that afternoon, but luckily nothing was delayed and we make it to Cincinnati without a problem. The flight to Salt Lake was great, and Ayden slept most of that too. He ended up waking up as we landed and was crying because he couldn't get comfortable on the seat so I picked him up and set him on my lap (facing out) and once again, I found myself with a warm sensation all over my legs. He peed on me again. Luckily, Kristy didn't have any ear problems coming home.

So, in a nutshell, this is how our trip went: delayed flight, almost missed another flight, lost luggage, potential ruptured ear drum, peed on, thrown up on (times 2), pooped on (sort of), throw up in car, hit deer, car overheated, and peed on (again).

And yet, we still had a lot of fun on the trip. Go figure.


Amber Yates said...

OMG!!! I am so sorry you guys what a headache and a half!!! I am glad you still had fun somewhere in there and that your home safe and sound.

Anonymous said...

This is the funniest (I'm sorry, it's pretty funny) thing I've heard in a long time! I can see it being made into a movie with Ben Stiller. I'm glad you're all safe and home now. But man, what a trip!!


jaclyn weist said...

MAN! I've had some bad trips before but I think that tops them all. I'm glad you guys got home safely and that even with the mess you still had fun!

Scott & Christie Lamb said...

OH MY GOSH! That doesn't sound like a very fun trip? I think you need a vacation from you vacation! So Sorry! Best of luck next time :-)

Brandon, McKell & Ryker said...

That is totally AWESOME!!! That should be MADe into a movie or something. I really needed to read that today. Thanks for the story. Hopefully the next trip with be better.

Tenielle said...

I'm sorry to say it, but I die laughing every time I hear or read this story. This has got to go down in history as one of the unluckiest trips!

Jody said...

oh my gosh I think that is the best post I've ever read on any blog!!! good job grady!!! i can't not believe everything that happened!!! that was truly hilarious to read, thank you for making my day seem so much better!!!!

Kelsey K. Hartley said...

Oh Man! Whatever could go wrong for you guys did. I think I would have cried at some point but ended up laughing with the number of things that just kept happening.
Ew, I do so hate those airlines that forget to use their common sense. That would never happen on a Continental flight. I'm guessing ya'll flew Delta, huh? I hate flying with them.
Glad you made it back without any issues and all in 1 piece!

Chablis said...

Yeah- a novel! haha, but wow, that is seriously dramatic. Just good memories from here on out, right?

Hey Kristie - I'm making my blog private, and you're totally invited, but I need your email address. Could you send me a quick email?


NA said...

Wow what a story! The crazy life of having a young family I guess ;)